That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize