I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
ttyl tear gas
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
