You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
