A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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