She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.