So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
