I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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