sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
