fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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