Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
