All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize