Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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