they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
