the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
