that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
try to milk me bitch
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
