Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
