i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The air taste purple.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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