Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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