people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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