There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
