Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
