Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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