I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
