...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
