to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
