MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
