you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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