no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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