are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
