Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
