i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
