He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
