Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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