I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize