i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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