with your own penis?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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