This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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