Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
