there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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