porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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