is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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