i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
