We're facebook friends in real life
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
