i think my mom watched the whole time
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
