I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize