he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
