he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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