If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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