Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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