oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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