Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
