the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Mom said you looked used
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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