i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
