the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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