soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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