soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
