Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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