Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
