i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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